Quotes by Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey

English comedian, musician and actor

Alive from: 1965-

Category: Music | Comedians and humor | Movie | Media

Quotes 1 till 15 of 27.

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  • Bill Bailey
    Bill Bailey
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    Ah, lovely: the ripple, the ripple there. That's nearly the Zen clap of acceptance there, wasn't it?
    Source: Part Troll
  • Bill Bailey
    Bill Bailey
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    And the thing is, I'm amazed they went with Obama at all, you know, I mean, I thought Hilary would have been a shoe-in, but no. Apparently America's got an issue with gender, not with race. Huh. So, um...
    Source: Dandelion Mind
  • Bill Bailey
    Bill Bailey
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    Creationists mainly are Americans who think the world was created in 1982 to coincide with the rise of Super Tramp but you can very easily dispute this by playing some of Super Tramps earlier albums.
    Source: Dandelion Mind
  • Bill Bailey
    Bill Bailey
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    God save our gracious Queen: Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers?
    Source: Part Troll
  • Bill Bailey
    Bill Bailey
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    I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.
    Source: Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra
  • Bill Bailey
    Bill Bailey
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    I was digging with a fork out of the kitchen drawer sewing tictacs, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. After a bit I got bored and just started burying cheap spoons to baffle the archaeologists of the future
    Source: Dandelion Mind
  • Bill Bailey
    Bill Bailey
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    I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all...
    Source: Dandelion Mind
  • Bill Bailey
    Bill Bailey
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    I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. I actively seek it out.
    Source: Part Troll
  • Bill Bailey
    Bill Bailey
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    It's always been my long-held belief that eventually insects will take over the world.
    Source: Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra
  • Bill Bailey
    Bill Bailey
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    It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still.
    Source: Bewilderness: New York (audio CD, 2002)
  • Bill Bailey
    Bill Bailey
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    It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life...
    Source: Tinselworm
  • Bill Bailey
    Bill Bailey
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    It's what we've always known for many years outside of Australia...You can't have a world leader called Kevin.
    Source: Dandelion Mind
  • Bill Bailey
    Bill Bailey
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    Marijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it.
    'Beards' (track 12) 5:29
    Source: Bewilderness: New York (audio CD, 2002)
  • Bill Bailey
    Bill Bailey
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    My first job was selling doors, door to door. That's a tough job isn't it? Bing Bong; Hello, can I interest you in a- oh shit you've got one already haven't you? Well never mind...
    Source: Part Troll
  • Bill Bailey
    Bill Bailey
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    Not a very well-known fact, but on planes they always carry a trombone just in case there's a disaster and they need to keep morale up. All cabin crew - fully proficient in the trombone. And of course there's a double facility: if you ditch at sea, it can be used as a snorkel.
    Source: Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra
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