Bill Hicks

Quotes: Bill Hicks

Quotes 1 till 15 of 46.

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  • Bill Hicks
    Bill Hicks
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    And if I can take part in it by transforming my own consciousness, then someone else's, I'm happy to do it.
  • Bill Hicks
    Bill Hicks
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    As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.
  • Bill Hicks
    Bill Hicks
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    Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.
  • Bill Hicks
    Bill Hicks
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    Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, And I'm not getting laid. What am I doing wrong?
    Source: Arizona Bay
  • Bill Hicks
    Bill Hicks
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    Good theory. But guess what, if I don't smoke there's going to be secondary bullets coming your way, 'cause I'm that tense.
    Source: Sane Man
  • Bill Hicks
    Bill Hicks
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    How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again?...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
    Source: Shock and Awe
  • Bill Hicks
    Bill Hicks
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    How much do you smoke a day sir? Pack! What a little puss. Gosh, why don't you just put a dress on and show it all to us while you smoke your little faggoty pack. C'mon, swish around for us. Damnit that pisses me off. I go through two lighters a day, dude. I'm starting to feel it.
    Source: Sane Man
  • Bill Hicks
    Bill Hicks
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    How much do you smoke, sir? Two packs a day, is that right? Pussy. I go through two lighters a day. That's right, two lighters! You're a health nut compared to me. You're like the Jack LaLanne of smokers compared to me.
    Source: Flying Saucer Tour Vol. I
  • Bill Hicks
    Bill Hicks
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    I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it's not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they're Napoleon. That's fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don't share them like they're the truth.
    Source: Filling Up the Hump
  • Bill Hicks
    Bill Hicks
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    I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, What's wrong? Nothing. Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile. Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?
    Source: Relentless
  • Bill Hicks
    Bill Hicks
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    I loved when Bush came out and said, We are losing the war against drugs. You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.
    Source: Queens Theatre Late Show
  • Bill Hicks
    Bill Hicks
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    I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest. This guy was reaching. I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don't think a Marlboro Light's gonna faze him that much.
    Source: Dark Poet
  • Bill Hicks
    Bill Hicks
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    I was in the unenviable position of being for the war, but against the troops.
    Source: Love, Laughter and Truth
  • Bill Hicks
    Bill Hicks
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    I was walking through Central Park, and I saw an old man smoking. Nothing makes a smoker happier than to see an old person smoking. This guy was ancient, bent over a walker, puffing away. I'm like, Duuude, you're my hero! Guy your age smoking, man, it's great. He goes, What? I'm 28.
    Source: Shock and Awe
  • Bill Hicks
    Bill Hicks
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    I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.
    Source: Shock and Awe
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