Quotes by Billy Connolly

Billy Connolly

Scottish stand-up comedian, musician, actor

Alive from: 1942-

Category: Music | Comedians and humor | Movie | Media

Quotes 1 till 12 of 12.

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    Billy Connolly
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    As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It's something they reserve just for me.
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    Billy Connolly
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    Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying.
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    Billy Connolly
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    Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
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    Billy Connolly
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    Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
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    Billy Connolly
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    Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don't sit in the dark hiding. It's easy to hide and shout and waste people's time.
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    Billy Connolly
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    It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.
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    Billy Connolly
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    Marriage is a wonderful invention; but, then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
    Source: Billy Connolly: The Authorized Version (Pan Books, 1976) by Duncan Campbell
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    Billy Connolly
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    My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
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    Billy Connolly
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    Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on.
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    Billy Connolly
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    Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.
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    Billy Connolly
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    Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding's a mystery to me now. You can't go back, your life changes every day.
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    The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
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