Quotes by Bryan Callen

Bryan Callen

American stand-up comedian, actor, writer

Alive from: 1967-

Category: Comedians and humor | Movie | Media | Writers (Contemporary)

Quotes 1 till 15 of 16.

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    Being in quite a few movies... there's always things that are changing about a film.
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    Comedy is surprise. Comedy is not something that you can, necessarily, do twice.
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    Compare sending someone a text message and getting a love letter delivered by carrier pigeon. No contest.
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    Guys want a 500 horsepower car. I'd rather have one horsepower - in a horse. That's macho. You go to pick up your date and you show up on a horse.
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    I don't know much, but I like talking to people who know a lot more than I do.
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    I guess I am attracted to older women. I'm looking for a 40-something who has had her heart broken two or three hundred times. She's going to be fun!
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    I've always wanted to be a brooding, deep, dark artist, but I can never keep that facade going for more than 15 minutes.
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    If you actually get down to the nitty-gritty of the average Pakistani, the average Indian, the average whoever, what you really do know emotionally is that they're exactly the same.
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    If you're the Rolling Stones, you can sing 'Start Me Up' for 35 years, and people still cheer.
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    My dad's idea of punishment was to dress me up in all green to disguise me as grass, and then throw me in the pasture. Cows bit me all over.
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    My point of view is that men are basically animals, and I'm okay with that.
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    One of the beautiful things about podcasting is that I'm not beholding to some public entity.
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    Some comics really thrive on being disrespectful, especially toward women, and it's somehow understood as edgy, but I'm the opposite. I've never liked curse words for that reason.
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    Stand-up comedy is all you. It's your show, it's your game. You control every aspect of it - of that experience and that expression. There's really nothing quite as satisfying.
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    Women find men attractive who are aggressive... but later on, they get worried that that aggression, that alpha energy, is going to be turned back against them and their children.
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