Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck

American writer

Lived from: 1927-

Category: Writers (Contemporary)

Quotes: Erma Bombeck

Quotes 1 till 12 of 12.

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    It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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    Never accept a drink from a Urologist.
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    Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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    Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
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    I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: ''Checkout Time is 18 years.''
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    It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
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    My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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    Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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    Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
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    The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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    When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, ''I used everything you gave me.''.
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    You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
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