Fran Lebowitz

American journalist

Lived from: 1951-

Category: Media

Quotes: Fran Lebowitz

Quotes 1 till 15 of 27.

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Life is something you do when you can't get to sleep.
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All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.
Source: Metropolitan life
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
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Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure.
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Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a lesbian.
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How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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If you're going to America, bring your own food.