Garrison Keillor

American humoristic writer

Lived from: 1942-

Category: Comedians and humor | Writers (Contemporary)

Quotes: Garrison Keillor

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    A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
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    Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
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    Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
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    Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
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    One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who don't understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.
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    Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.
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    The funniest line in English is ''Get it?'' When you say that, everyone chortles.
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