Quotes by Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley

American humorist, criticus

Alive from: 1889-1945

Category: Comedians and humor | Media

Quotes 1 till 15 of 16.

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  A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

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  A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

• Robert Benchley

  

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  An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.

• Robert Benchley

  

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  Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

• Robert Benchley

  

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  As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.

• Robert Benchley

  

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  Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

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  Drawing on my fine command of the language, I said nothing.

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  Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.

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  I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.

• Robert Benchley

  

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  I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

• Robert Benchley

  

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  I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

• Robert Benchley

  

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  It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up, because by that time I was too famous.

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  Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about

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  The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

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  The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.