Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield

American comedian, actor

Category: Comedians and humor | Movie | Media

Quotes 1 till 15 of 15.

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    If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
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    If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
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    Rodney Dangerfield
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    I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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    I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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    Rodney Dangerfield
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    I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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    Rodney Dangerfield
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    I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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    I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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    My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
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    My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
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    My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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    My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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    My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
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    My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
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    We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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    Rodney Dangerfield
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    When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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