W. C. Fields

American Actor

Lived from: 1879-1946

Quotes: W. C. Fields

Quotes 1 till 15 of 32.

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    My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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    W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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    A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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    All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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    Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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    Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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    I always keep a supply of liquor handy in case I see a snake - which I also keep handy.
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    I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.


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    I drink therefore I am.
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    I like children - fried.
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    I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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    I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
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    I never met a kid I liked.

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    I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
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    I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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