Quotes: Woody Allen
Quotes 1 till 15 of 113.
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Woody Allen
+8Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
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Woody Allen
+3More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
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Woody Allen
+1A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
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Woody Allen
0
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
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Woody Allen
0A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
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Woody Allen
0After all, there are worse things in life than death. If you've ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know what I'm talking about.
Source: Love and Death (1975)
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Woody Allen
0As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
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Woody Allen
0Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
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Woody Allen
0Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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Woody Allen
0Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
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Woody Allen
0Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.
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Woody Allen
0Death is a state of non-being. That which is not, does not exist. Therefore death does not exist.
Source: My Apology
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Woody Allen
0Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
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Woody Allen
0Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.
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Woody Allen
0Eighty percent of success is showing up.
